Jesse's Song
by KCFAN
Summary: A sequel to the episode “Jesse”. After his friend Jesse dies in his arms, Festus finds it impossible to go back to his old life and embarks on an adventure to search for answers.
1. Chapter 1

Jesse's Song

_This is a sequel to the Season 18 episode "Jesse". Festus felt such anguish over having to choose his badge over his friend that I felt sure he must have had a hard time dealing with the loss, especially when Jesse died in his arms. This is my answer to the question, "What happened next?"_

**I don't own the characters-I just like to hang out with them**

Chapter one

The dusty, prairie wind ruffled the hair of the somber men crowded around the open grave, their hats twisting uneasily in their hands. Staring with unseeing eyes into its inky depths, they paused as they remembered their friend, killed by a man for the money his death would bring.

"Jesse," Deputy Festus Haggen whispered with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorrier'n I kin ever tell ya. I wish…I wish I coulda done somethin', anythin', other'n what I done."

Dave Carpenter, trail boss for the cattle drive Jesse Dillard had been a part of, finished saying the words over Jesse's grave and walked to stand beside the grief-stricken deputy.

"Festus, if it's any consolation, I know for a fact Jesse would never blame you for what happened."

"Mebbe not, Mr. Carpenter," Festus said wearily, fingering the shiny deputy's badge he was so proud of. "But I sure do. If'n I wasn't awearin' this here badge, Jesse and I might be on our way ta Mexico or…or anywhere's 'bout now."

Carpenter placed a hand on Festus' shoulder. "Take your time and say your goodbyes."

Festus looked up briefly and watched as his friend and fellow deputy, Newly O'Brien, and the men from Carpenter's camp moved off down the hill to their horses.

Looking about him, Festus smiled briefly. "Ya sure would like this here place Mr. Carpenter picked fer yer grave, Jesse."

Sitting on a small hilltop, the grave overlooked the Arkansas River as it flowed placidly below. Cattle milled about its banks grazing contentedly and lowing softly.

"I jes cain't fergive myself for what happened. I'd do anythin' ta change it. But I cain't," he said lowering his head. Wiping a hand quickly across his eyes, Festus placed his battered hat back on his head and started down the scrub-covered hill to the men waiting below, stopping once to look back at Jesse's grave.

Coming up on the group of cowboys, Festus heard one of the men whining. "What we gonna do without no cook? We still got at least one more month till we get to Denver. Mebbe longer with the way things is goin' and I ain't so happy with what we bin eatin' since Jesse...well, since he died."

Carpenter shook his head slowly, staring at the ground. "Don't know, Bob. It's too late to be findin' someone to just up and take off with us for the next month."

"Well, we gotta find someone," another cowboy said unhappily. "We'll starve otherwise."

"I'll do it," Festus said softly, not looking at the men about him, who looked at each other in surprise.

"Festus?" Newly questioned. "You? But, what about Dodge? We need to be gettin' back. The Marshal will be expectin' us soon."

"You go on, Newly. Help Matthew all ya can till he kin find someone ta take ma place."

"Take your place? Festus..."

"I ain't goin' back, Newly. I cain't be a deputy no more. Not right now. It cost me too much." With that, Festus slowly unpinned the badge from his chest, buffed it briefly on his shirt and handed it to his friend.

"What about all your friends in Dodge? Miss Kitty, Doc, Matthew, me? You sayin' that pain in your heart means more to you than your friends that wanta help you?" Newly asked sharply.

Festus jerked his head up at Newly's words and tone. "Naw! That ain't awhat I'm sayin' ya knot head. I'm sayin'..." Festus looked away for a moment. "I'm sayin' I need me some time. Try ta figger out why what happened happened. Don'tcha see? I cain't do that if'n I'm sittin' in Dodge drinkin' beer and havin' y'all tellin' me it ain't ma fault."

"It isn't!" Newly said crossly. "What happened..."

"Was my fault. Jesse's too fer runnin'. The law's fault fer sentencin' him the way they done. I don't know I can serve that there law no more," he said sadly, shaking his head. "Don't make this no harder fer me, Newly. Yer a good friend, but try ta understand."

Newly stared hard at his friend for a moment, knowing what Festus was giving up. "You'll come back, won't you?" he asked softly, concern for him in his tone.

Raising his head slowly, Festus stared at his friend for a moment, then nodded. "When I think I can, Newly. I'll sure try."

"You'd better. Doc'll have my head as it is for not bringin' ya back with me."

"Foot, he'll prob'ly shout fer joy. Town'll be so quiet he won't know what ta do," he said with a laugh.

Newly laughed along with him for a moment. "If you don't come back, I'll hunt you down, hogtie ya and haul ya back ta Dodge on that mule of yours. Don't make me do that," he said with a small smile.

Nodding, Festus smiled back and held out his hand. "Ya been a good friend to me, Newly. Couldn't ask fer better."

Newly grasped the weathered hand tightly in his own. "I feel the same, Festus. If you ever need anything...ya know where I am."

"I do," he said softly. "And Newly? Tell Doc, Miss Kitty and Matthew...well, tell 'em...tell 'em I'm sorry. And that they's the best friends a feller could ask fer. Ya tell them that won't ya?"

"You know I will, Festus."

Newly strode to his horse and mounted. Wheeling back towards Festus, he pointed to him and said, "Remember, I'll come after ya if ya don't come back."

Festus nodded and raised a hand in farewell. "Be safe, Newly."

"You too, Festus. You too."

With that, Newly turned his mount and raced towards the river and crossed it quickly, leaving the drovers staring after him uncertainly.

"Uh, Festus...ya can cook can't ya?" asked Carpenter.

"Can I cook? Can I cook? Why yer lookin' at one of the best cooks the Haggen clan ever produced! Goat meat stew, rattlesnake pie, skunk cabbage greens, sweet biscuits...why...my best dish though, well that'd be ma coffee," he said with a laugh, heading off towards the chuck wagon sitting off to the side. "Hope ya got plenty of it 'cause I make it a mite on the strong side. Now Matthew, he don't much like it but then he's a city feller. And then there's Doc, why he..." Festus stopped in mid sentence, realizing who he was talking about: his friends. Friends he might never see again. Looking down at the ground, he nodded slowly and continued softly. "Yes sir, I can cook. Whether or not y'all like it...well, that I cain't garantee."


	2. Chapter 2

Jesse's Song

Chapter 2

Newly O'Brien rode his mount slowly down the dusty streets of Dodge City, stopping outside the Long Branch Saloon. He dismounted and landed tiredly on the street, leaning against his horse for a moment. It had been a long ride and the events of the past days hung heavy on him.

Laughter spilled from the Saloon and Newly raised his head, staring at the doors. He knew the people he most did not want to see were inside: people he had to tell who he had left behind.

Knowing there was no way to avoid what he had to do, Newly walked towards the doors of the Saloon and pushed them open. It was crowded for as late as it was but his eyes caught sight of Matt, Kitty and Doc seated at their usual table. He walked hesitantly towards them and stopped by the table.

Kitty Russell looked up and smiled. "Newly! You're back! When did you get in?"

"Just now, Miss Kitty," he said, nodding to the others as they greeted him.

"Sit down and join us for a beer. Where's Festus?" she asked, turning to look behind him.

"Yeah, it's not like him to pass up an opportunity for a free beer," Doc said with a smirk on his face.

Newly glanced at Doc and the others quickly then looked down to the floor. "He…uh, didn't come back with me. He….well…something happened and he … he couldn't bring himself to come back."

Silence met his statement. He's all right, isn't he?" Matt said in concern after a moment.

"Yes, sir. Physically."

"Physically? Maybe you'd better sit down and tell us what happened," Dillon said tersely, leaning forward.

Pulling out a chair from the table, Newly sat down heavily, running a hand over his face, and began his story. A few minutes later, the story told, Kitty laid a hand softly on Newly's arm.

"So, his friend died in his arms?" she asked quietly, unshed tears in her eyes.

Newly nodded briefly. "It wasn't his fault, but Festus…well…Festus felt he'd let him down. Said if he hadn't had a badge pinned to his chest, he would've run with Jesse."

"And he decided to run cattle to Denver with this Carpenter?" Dillon asked, frowning.

"Yes, sir. Guess he felt it was his only choice. He didn't think he could come back here and he…he said he couldn't serve a law that…well that done what it done to Jesse."

"What kind of man is this, Carpenter?" Dillon asked, squinting at Newly.

Newly shrugged, keeping his eyes on the table before him. "Carpenter seems like an all right fellow, I reckon. He's a man of his word, I can tell ya that. Some of his men are a bit rough but, that's drovers for ya, I guess. I tried to tell Festus it wasn't his fault. Told him he should just come on home with me but…" Weariness and guilt overwhelmed Newly and his words trailed off.

"Matt, I think you should go after him," said Kitty leaning towards Matt. "Bring him home."

Matt shook his head. "I can't do that, Kitty. He needs to make that decision on his own. Forcing him to come back isn't the answer."

"I agree," Doc said, speaking up for the first time. "As much as I think he'd be better off here, ya can't make him come back. He needs to work it out in his own mind."

"That's what he said too, Doc. He did tell me to tell you all that you were the best friends he ever had and he was sorry, especially to you Marshal that you need to find someone else to deputy." Newly reached slowly into his shirt pocket and pulled out Festus' badge. He stared at it briefly, then handed it to Matt. "He said it cost him too much to wear this. Said I was to give it to you to give to your next deputy."

Dillon reached out a hand to accept the badge, rolling it between his fingers. "Think I'll just keep it till he wants it back," he said softly, staring at the metal in his hand.

"_If_ he wants it back," Doc said quietly, then rose quickly from the table and walked out into the night.

The three remaining stared after him. "He's gonna miss him," Kitty said sadly, gazing out the door.

"We all are, Kitty. Only, Doc would never admit it to himself or anyone else," Matt said softly. Rising, he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder before walking out, his head down.

Kitty and Newly sat together, neither speaking for a moment longer. Rousing herself with a shake, she turned to look at Newly. "You look tired, Newly."

"I sure am, Miss Kitty. The past couple of days have been pretty tough. I just wish I could have done something. Or that we hadn't gone down to the saloon that night. Or that we hadn't even stopped in that town at all."

"But you did, Newly. What's done is done. We just have to believe Festus will come back to us, because we _do_ need him here. He may not know it, but we do. Now, why don't I buy that drink and we can call it a night?"

Newly shook his head without looking up. "Thanks Miss Kitty, but I'd just as soon get my horse taken care of and go on to bed. It's been a long couple of days. I'll see you tomorrow," he said rising and walking slowly out the door.

Kitty placed her arms on the table and stared down, her eyes filling with tears at the thought of what Festus must be feeling and the thought of him never coming back. Cattle drives were dangerous places and bad things happened all the time.

Giving herself a shake, she told herself that Festus could take care of himself and that he _would_ be back. Leaving Sam in charge of the bar, Kitty headed slowly up the stairs and to her room. Maybe in the light of day it wouldn't seem so bleak.


	3. Chapter 3

Jesse's Song

Chapter 3

Festus lay his head back against the bedroll he had placed near the fire and stared up at the stars above, picking out constellations he knew. Things sure were different from the last time he had been on a cattle drive, he thought to himself. But then, that had been more than a few years ago and he weren't no spring chicken any more.

Driving the chuck wagon was not near as much fun as being out on the trail with the other drovers, and it left him with plenty of time to think. Something that wasn't necessarily a good thing, he thought sadly. He missed Dodge and his friends, but he knew in his heart he had done the right thing…the only thing… he could do.

His first meals with the company hadn't gone real smoothly and he thought Carpenter was wishing he hadn't said he'd come along as cook. But slowly he was figuring out how to cook for so many. He also learned how long biscuits took to cook and how many the men on the drive could eat at one time: a fairly large number he had discovered after not making enough the first few times.

With an abundance of beef, Carpenter had made it plain that rattlesnake pie was not to be on any menu. Which was no problem considering the number of snakes it would take to feed this hungry crew.

Listening to the night sounds about him, Festus began to relax, feeling the pull of sleep as he began to unwind from the long day. Cattle milled about nearby lowing softly, and the cowboys on the first night shift talked quietly amongst themselves. It wasn't long before one of the hands broke out a harmonica and played some of the sweetest music Festus had heard in a long time. The last time he had been on a drive, Jesse had been the one playing and singing one of his songs to quiet the cattle and the men.

Turning on his side, Festus stared off into the dark prairie night and squeezed his eyes closed, feeling alone. His friends were back in Dodge, a place he couldn't go back to yet, and the men here still held him accountable for Jesse's death. The next few weeks were going to be long, Festus judged. Maybe along the way he'd come up with some answers-some way of living with himself or finding the answer to why what had happened, happened. 'Cause there must be a reason or life made no sense. Closing his eyes, he felt sleep drift over him. Four AM came awfully early, bringing a day filled with cooking, cleaning and driving.


	4. Chapter 4

Jesse's Song

Chapter 4

Almost a week had passed since Festus had joined the drive with each day taking him further from what he considered his home. The herd was moving well although slowly, and very little seemed to happen, at least in the front where Festus drove the chuck wagon. Another few weeks and they would be in Denver. Selling cattle to the army to supply the western forts seemed a waste of time and cattle to Festus. Selling in Dodge or Abilene saved a lot of both, but then he wasn't the owner of this herd and cared very little what they all did. The drive provided a sanctuary for Festus, so he didn't bother to ask questions he really didn't care to know the answers to.

What did bother him was the decided lack of problems with the drive. Any drive he had been a part of before had more trouble than peace involved. Storms, Indians, injuries and rustlers were just a few of the problems encountered. Deep inside, Festus felt this only boded ill for the remaining miles. With a grim eye to the sky, Festus slapped the reins against the rump of the horse in front of him and clicked his tongue. "Giddy yup there, John. Keep up, Jack. Keep up," he said softly to the horses trying valiantly to pull the wagon up a small embankment.

Festus and the team pulling the wagon had just settled into a steady pace for the day when he heard the sound of cowboys hollering. A group broke from the formation they had established to herd the cattle and raced off to the left, cutting in front of Festus.

Pulling back on the reins, Festus stared down the small hill towards a group of drovers crowded around a fallen man. Tying off the reins, Festus jumped from the wagon and slid down the hillside to the men. Lying on the ground with his right leg bent at an uncomfortable looking angle was a boy of about sixteen or seventeen years. He was trying valiantly to check the tears coursing down his face, but to no avail.

"Here, here," Festus said, coming the rest of the way down the hill. "What's goin' on?"

"Billy's horse spooked. Threw him," one of the men said shortly, turning to look at Festus.

Kneeling by the young man, Festus laid a soft hand on his forehead. "Lay back, youngun'. Let me look." Festus gently maneuvered the leg till it was as straight as he could get it, feeling for any broken bones. He was impressed with the way the young man didn't cry out.

"Wall, it don't 'pear ta be broke," he said after a moment. "Most likely wrenched it purty good though. Looks like yer gonna have ta stay off it fer a bit." He turned to the men crowded around the boy. "Lets git this boy up to the chuck wagon and see what we got to take care of this here leg."

The men stared uncertainly at Festus for a moment till he yelled at them to get moving. "We ain't got us all day now. Move 'er!"

The men picked the boy up and carried him up the hill, laying him down on the ground by the back of the wagon that trailed the chuck wagon. The driver, Pete Stanton, was an old drover who found he was just too old for the rigors of riding in a saddle all day long. Not wanting to give up the trail life, he now drove the wagon that held the supplies the drovers required for the long drive to market: ropes, bridles, extra food, and blankets, anything they didn't want to or couldn't carry on their person.

Pete hopped down and began to help Festus with the boy's leg after a small dose of laudanum was administered. The drovers began to mount up again and ride back to their positions. The passing herd kicked up quite a dust storm as the two men helped the boy.

After the boy's leg was immobilized, the two cleared room in the back of the chuck wagon and placed him gently in the back.

"Thank ya fer yer help, Pete," Festus said, wiping his face with his kerchief as the passing herd continued to spread dust upon the men.

"No problem, Festus. I'll follow behind ya the rest of the day so's I kin keep an eye to the boy here."

That night the herd rested by the banks of the Big Sandy Creek, grazing peacefully as they milled about. Dinner was finished and the supplies stored away for the night when Festus finally sat down by Billy whose leg was propped up on a saddle and some blankets.

"How ya feelin' boy? Leg still smartin'?" Festus asked, handing the youngster a cup of still warm coffee.

"A bit, Festus," he said quietly as he took the offered coffee. "Cain't believe I fell off ma horse like that. I been ridin' since afore I could walk practically."

"Frettin' 'bout it won't help none. Jes gotta accept it and move on, don'tcha see?"

"Ya mean like you? Accepting Jesse's death?"

Festus squinted hard at the boy, a harsh retort on his lips but then thought better of it. "I git ya, boy. Reckon I git ya. Finish up that there coffee and git on ta bed."

Billy smiled as he drank down what was left of his coffee and rose awkwardly from his seat with Festus' help and limped off to his bed roll by the fire.


	5. Chapter 5

Jesse's Song

Chapter 5

The days continued on in an unending parade, each day bringing them closer to Denver and further from Dodge City. While his leg healed, Billy took over driving the chuck wagon a few hours a day, allowing Festus to saddle Ruth and ride out with the men, feeling more a part of the drive than before. There was just something about being out under that blue sky and feeling the sun beat down on you that made your problems seem small. Most times that was.

Festus was riding flank one day when he decided to explore down a wash to look for strays. He rode along slowly, carefully watching about him, when he became aware of a group of men along the ridgeline staring across the wash at the cattle crossing above him. An uneasy feeling stole over him when he realized the men weren't from Carpenter's outfit. Deciding to spy on them a bit, he rode along the bottom of the wash till he came to a wooded area and turned Ruth up the hill to near where the men watched.

A short ride and he saw the group had set up a camp where they were busy branding cattle that appeared to have the Carpenter brand already on it. Festus dismounted and tied Ruth to a tree. Creeping as close as he could, he watched the rustlers. No more than five men were about but he knew of at least three more watching the herd nearby.

Using what was known as a running iron, the men were busy changing the Carpenter brand to one of their own. In a pen not far away, Festus counted thirty head of cattle with the new brand milling about uneasily. Twenty more waited nearby for their turn. He had just turned to head back to warn Carpenter when he felt a muzzle press up against his face.

"Well, what have we here? A spy?" asked a deep, unfriendly voice.

"Jes lookin' fer some work, Mister. That's all. Man over on the drive tolt me ta get lost. I seen ya pullin' cattle from that there herd and thought I'd be askin' here. Ain't got no reason not to I figgered." Festus slowly turned his head to look at the man holding the gun on him. About thirty, with a face full of whiskers, the man smiled an evil smile and lowered the gun slightly.

"Zat so?" he asked. "Why would we be a wantin' the likes of you?" he asked.

"Well…" Festus started to speak then took the opening the man gave him when he lowered his gun a bit more and punched the man in the face, knocking the gun away at the same time.

The two wrestled for a bit till Festus landed one punch soundly to the man's jaw and he collapsed in a heap. Throwing the man's gun away, Festus turned to look towards the branding pit, his stomach dropping when he saw the men there moving towards him. Rising quickly, he moved to Ruth, mounted and wheeled away in one fluid motion, heading back across the wash and towards where he had left the drive.

Behind him he heard the men yelling and racing their horses down the wash after him. Festus rode low over Ruth's back and urged his mount to move faster. But Ruth was no match for the well rested horses behind him and he felt them grow closer.

He had just reached the top of the wash, still several hundred yards behind the last man riding drag on the herd, when he felt fire burn across his back, nearly knocking him from Ruth. Regaining his hold, Festus pulled his pistol free and returned fire. He smiled in satisfaction as he saw two of the men fall from their horses, causing the rest of his pursuers to pull back slightly, giving him the time he needed to draw close enough to the draggers to hear him call.

The last man in line behind the herd, a bandana over his face to cut the dust, pulled back and stared for a second at the man riding hard towards him on a mule. Recognizing Festus, he yelled for the others nearby and raced towards him, stopping when he had pulled alongside the man that sat weaving on his mount.

"Festus? What in tarnation…"

"Behind me…rustlers…on the other side of the wash. Changing brands…" and with that Festus lost his tenuous hold on consciousness and slumped forward, his weight taken by the drag man who looked behind him to see three men hightailing it back across the wash behind them. Holding on to Festus, the man turned his mount and looked towards the rest of the herd to see more of Carpenter's men moving towards them at a gallop. He carefully dismounted and pulled Festus from Ruth, laying him on the ground.

By the time the first man reached them, he already had Festus' shirt off, grimacing at the blood that seeped from the wound. He relayed what Festus had told him and watched as they raced off after the fleeing men.


	6. Chapter 6

Jesse's Song

Chapter 6

Consciousness returned slowly to Festus. An awareness of movement filled him and he tried hard to think where he was. Opening his eyes, he saw pots, pans and barrels swaying about him and realized with a start he was in the back of the chuck wagon. Memory of what had happened flooded back to him and he attempted to sit up, causing pain to course through his lower back. With a groan, he lay back down. "Reckon I best sit still till we stop," he mumbled to himself and drifted off to sleep once more.

When the herd stopped for the night, Billy hopped down carefully from the chuck wagon seat and limped to the back of the wagon, peering in anxiously. "Festus? Are ya awake?" he asked softly while grabbing the pans he would need to begin the dinner chores.

Festus heard Billy call him and raised his head, careful not to move too fast. "Billy? What's goin' on? Last thing I remember is…the rustlers…"

Billy placed a soft hand on his friend's leg and squeezed gently. "We got most of 'em, Festus. Mr. Carpenter said if it hadn't been for you riding out on flank, he might've lost more cows than he did. As it was, he got back the ones that were in the enclosure you saw." A shadow passed over his face and he looked down.

"What is it, boy?" Festus asked, trying to sit up, ignoring the pain in his back.

"We lost one man though, Danny Hansen. And we almost lost you," he said without looking at Festus.

Festus snorted. "Ya cain't kill a Haggen with one bullet, boy. Ain't I ever tolt ya that? No? Well, I'll have ta tell ya 'bout that sometime. Now, help me outta this here prison. How long I bin in here?"

Billy smiled at his friend and reached a hand in to help him ease out of the back of the chuck wagon, steadying him as he stood. "I reckon you was shot 'bout this time yesterday."

"That long?" Festus whistled softly.

"Pete fixed ya up. Said the bullet went right on through but didn't hit anythin' important. He sewed ya up and bandaged ya then helped me git ya in the wagon. How ya like ridin' back there?" Billy asked with a smirk.

Festus peered at the boy. "I bin worse places. But I cain't say I like it much. Who's bin doin' the cookin' if'n I was asleep all this time?"

"Me. I bin watchin' ya fer how long now? Reckon once ya get past all the figurin' and all it comes easier. Ain't kilt no one yet anyways. Least, I don't think I have," he said carrying the supplies for the night's meal easily. Festus reached out a hand to help and had the items snatched away. "Not yet ya don't. Go sit down somewhere in the shade and be quiet."

Smiling at the authority in the boy's words and manner, Festus found a seat near where Billy was preparing the night's fire and gently lowered himself to the ground. Wincing at the pain in his back, he watched Billy go about the chore of preparing the night's meal and shook his head. Billy had sure grown since he had started out on the trail. Then, he was a boy, but now he exuded strength and a sureness that caused the men around him to listen.

Exhausted, Festus drifted off to sleep by the fire, waking with a start when he was suddenly aware of a body sitting next to him. Opening his eyes, he saw Billy smile slightly at him and hand him a plate of food. He took it gratefully and began to eat slowly, casting his eyes about the camp. Men were finishing their meals, joking and preparing for the night in soft tones.

"Mr. Carpenter came by whilst you was sleepin'. He's been worried."

"Ain't no call to worry. Jist a little flesh wound," Festus said softly.

"Maybe. Still scared me somethin' awful though. Ain't never seen a man shot afore. Reckon you have though, being a deputy and all," Billy said softly, not looking up.

Festus was quiet for a long time, then leaned forward to throw the remainder of his meal in the fire, grimacing in pain as he did so. He watched the scraps burn for a time, then said so softly Billy had trouble hearing, "I seen men shot afore, and hung and knifed. And I don't wanna see it no more." He rose slowly and painfully to his feet, reaching a hand back to his wound. Pausing, he peered down at Billy who looked up at him with watery eyes. "And I ain't a deputy no more, boy."


	7. Chapter 7

Jesse's Song

Chapter 7

Four more days passed and Festus took back the job of cook. Some complained when he began making the stout, dark brew he called coffee once more, but they were glad to have him back nonetheless. Billy had done a good job handling the meals but it took a special touch-a Haggen touch and a secret ingredient- to making the sweetest biscuits this side of the Mississippi.

Billy was back in the saddle once again, helping to herd the remuda of saddle horses the drovers used daily. His leg had healed enough for him to sit in the saddle for a few hours a day, times that Festus began to dread because of the free time it gave him to think; something he had begun to hate.

Days of hard country followed slow, lonely nights filled with the low sounds of men and animals settling in for the night. Billy walked up to where Festus had spread his gear for the night and laid out his own nearby one night after the rustling incident. The two men had grown close and Billy seemed to find Festus to be a wealth of information on most things Billy found to be a mystery: tracking, Indians, and life in general.

"That was a real special meal tonight, Festus," Billy said while spreading out his blanket.

Festus leaned back against a sack of flour he would need for the morning, twitched his lips and blew out through his mouth. "Tweren't nothin' special 'bout it. Ya jes think so cause yer still growin' and ya ain't getting' 'nough ta eat."

Waving his hand in the direction of the chuck wagon, Festus said softly, "Get on over to the wagon there and grab a few biscuits. The first night watch won't be by fer a few more minutes to grab theirs fer the night. Better grab a few whilst ya can."

Eager for a few more bites to eat, Billy smiled and leaped up to do as his friend said, then came back to the fire and plopped down by Festus, handing one of the treasured biscuits to Festus who declined.

"What's wrong, Festus?" Billy asked in concern as he chewed eagerly on his snack. "Ya got somethin' on yer mind?"

"Contrary to what some folks think, I got somethin' on ma mind most times," he said, remembering with a pang his tiffs with Doc over his thinking capacity.

"But tonight?"

Sighing heavily, Festus leaned forward and poked at the fire. "Tonight I got me a bad feelin'. Like somethin's 'bout ta happen."

Billy stopped chewing and looked at his friend, then at their surroundings in alarm. He was about to question Festus about his feeling when Carpenter strode to the fire with several of the men behind him. The first night watch had arrived for the little bit of food they would take out to ease any hunger pangs while guarding the herd at night. They worked in two to three hour shifts, guarding the cattle and keeping them calm.

Carpenter stopped by Festus and sat on the edge of the wagon, gazing about at the prairie before him. "Got me a bad feelin', Mr. Carpenter. Bin feelin' it all day. Like somethin's 'bout ta happen."

The trail boss pulled his coat closer to him and nodded. "Temperature's droppin'. Don't bode well."

Nodding, Festus gazed out at the darkened prairie once more. "Ya got extra horses saddled?"

Smirking in Festus' direction, he nodded. "Yep. I warned the night watch to stay alert. If anything happens, we'll be as ready as we can be." Carpenter rose from his perch and clapped a hand on Festus' shoulder. "Ya woulda made a good trail boss, Festus. Ya got the instincts ya need."

Snorting, Festus looked away. "Instinct sometimes jes comes from experience, Mr. Carpenter. And experience says we's gonna have ourselves a night tonight. Hope I'm wrong though."

But he wasn't wrong. A few hours after the herd had stopped for the night, thunder could be heard in the distance. Cattle spooked easily and thunder and lightning were guaranteed to make a herd jumpy. Festus rose from his bedroll and awakened Billy who slept soundly. "Git up boy. Storms a comin'".

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Billy stared about him as Festus put on his boots and started to head to the remuda bedded down nearby.

"Festus? Where ya goin'?"

"Come on, boy. Cain't ya hear the herd's already beginnin' ta stir? If they starts stampedin' we're gonna have us a time tryin' ta turn 'em afore they run too far. Git dressed and pick a mount."

Billy hurried to do as Festus told him, taking what he said as gospel. Arriving at the remuda site, he wasn't surprised to see Carpenter already there, issuing orders.

"All right! Who's got the fastest horse? Jack? You get ready to turn the herd if they spook. Keep them as far away from the river ahead as ya can. I don't wanna risk losing any. But don't take chances. Cattle ain't worth losing yer life over."

A loud crack of thunder startled Billy and the men gathering, causing the herd to start milling even more than it had. Lightning split the sky in white hot light hitting a nearby tree which exploded in a shower of sparks, causing the herd to spook almost as one. The noise became deafening as 5000 head of cattle began to stampede, heading for the river five miles off.

Festus grabbed the reins of a bay horse and launched himself into the saddle, taking the time to look back at Billy who was attempting to corral a sorrel that looked as though it would rather stay behind. "Hurry up, boy! The herd's movin'." He waited till Billy was mounted and caught up to him before he spurred his horse on.

"Head fer the river! Them cattle's spooked and smellin that there water's gonna seem like a good place to head. Find the lead steer and try ta turn him if'n ya can, but don't take him head on! Keep to the side and turn him to the right. Once ya got him turnin', the rest should foller! Mill the herd back around if'n ya can!" Festus yelled out his instructions to the frightened youngster, watching as he nodded his understanding.

The two took off at a gallop, trying to keep the herd in sight through the dust being raised by the cattle. Frequent lightning flashed and thunder echoed loudly across the valley. The din of the stampeding herd rumbled, causing the ground to shake. The pitch-black night was a dangerous time to be chasing a stampeding herd as obstacles and dangers were hidden. Festus watched as one hand's mount off to his right stumbled in a gopher hole and went down, spilling his rider. Reining back, Festus rode to the downed rider anxiously. Miraculously, both horse and rider were all right, if only bruised and he waved Festus off.

Nodding and waving back, Festus turned his mount and galloped off, struggling to reach the herd. Slowly he gained back the ground he had lost, searching for the sorrel he had last seen Billy on. Fear for his young friend filled him and he leaned over the neck of his mount, urging greater speed from the beast.

A short time later, he spotted Carpenter and a few other hands ahead. He watched as two of the men peeled off and circled back to the right, herding a group of cows back to the main herd. Carpenter continued on, unaware of Festus behind him. Festus rode on, conscious of a sinking feeling in his stomach when he saw a steer break from the brush off to the left and head straight for Carpenter in front of him. The trail boss' horse caught the movement out of the corner of its eye and reared up, throwing Carpenter to the ground.

His heart in his throat, Festus spurred his mount on towards the steer that was now on a collision course with Carpenter's prone body and intercepted it before it could trample the trail boss, turning it to the side and back towards the main herd that was beginning to mill back around finally.

Leaping from his mount, Festus stopped to make sure the cow had steered well clear and walked quickly to Carpenter, relieved to see him attempting to sit up and looking at the former deputy with a stunned look on his face.

"Where the devil did you come from ridin' like that? I thought I was a goner with that cow headin' straight for me!"

Festus knelt down next to the boss and reached out a hand to him as he tried to stand. "Here now! Quit tryin' ta git up. Let me check ya out quick."

"I'm fine Festus, thanks to you. If you hadn't been there though, I'd be trampled into the dirt right about here," he said with genuine warmth in his voice. He reached out a hand to Festus who took it in his. "I owe you my life."

"Shoot, Mr. Carpenter. I figger I owe you more'n I can ever repay," Festus said quietly.

Rising to his feet with Festus' help, he wiped the dirt from his pants and glanced up at the deputy-turned-cook. "Don't know how ya think that, but I'm still in yer debt. Looks like the herd's been stopped. Let's go see what kind of damage that stampede done."

The two men rode off on Festus' horse towards the herd, listening as the men sang softly to calm the still fidgeting animals. A quick calculation showed the herd had run three miles and had been turned just in time to avoid a wash that would have cost the lives of several of the cattle.

Festus dropped Carpenter off by the remuda and began to search for Billy, fear in his heart when he had trouble finding the boy. A few minutes later, he heard the sounds of cowboys trying their best to be quiet, but failing. Riding towards the group, Festus was surprised to see the men clustered about Billy, smacking him on the back and shoving him good naturedly.

Reining up, he sat on his mount for a moment, smiling as he watched Billy's face glow with excitement. "Festus!" one of the men called, striding towards him quickly. "Did ya hear? Billy done turned the lead steer away from the wash! He saved the whole herd!"

Pride washed over Festus' face when he heard the news. The boy had done all right for himself and had saved the herd to boot!

Billy freed himself from his admirers and walked to Festus, staring up at him. "I done like ya tolt me to, Festus! I caught up to that steer and managed to turn him back around! It worked!"

"Ya done good, boy. Ya done good. Ya should be proud a yerself. I'm gonna ride back now and fetch the wagon. Might need that fer breakfast."

"I'll come with ya," Billy said, moving to his horse.

"No ya ain't neither. Jes…stay here and enjoy yerself, boy," he said softly so only Billy could hear. "Soak up that there praise and thank God above no one was hurt too bad tonight," he said before riding back to the wagon.


	8. Chapter 8

Jesse's Song

Chapter 8

The rest of the night passed quickly as the men tried and failed to bed down. Excitement and soft conversation filled the air as Festus made a fire and pots of strong coffee. Giving up on sleep, Festus began the preparations for breakfast, making the biscuits and frying the leftover meat from the night before, knowing the men would be extra hungry today.

Carpenter, slightly worse for the wear after his spill, walked slowly into the cook area shortly before the first group came in for breakfast, and told Festus they would be staying in the lush valley for a few days, giving the herd a chance to graze and gain back some of the fat they had lost on their run, and for the men to relax after the night's activities. Nodding, Festus made preparations for the long day ahead. No driving meant he would have a chance to ride out on his own for a bit and be alone to explore. The thought filled him with a little shiver of excitement.

He turned his gaze to the white-capped mountains in the distance and smiled, remembering what they were like, what they smelled like and what they felt like. Exactly how long ago he had been this way he couldn't quite recall, but he knew if had been with his twin brother, Fergus. Remembering wiped the smile from his face as he felt the pain of losing his brother once again open up the scar on his heart a bit.

Clucking his tongue and admonishing himself for allowing the thought in, in the first place, he turned back to the fire and stoked it almost angrily, putting more coffee on to boil for the hungry cowboys.

Breakfast over and lunch still a few hours ahead, Festus saddled Ruth and rode out a ways from the herd and walked slowly along, smelling the fresh clean air and feeling the cold that swirled off the mountains ahead. The tops of the peaks were shrouded in wispy, snow white clouds; clouds Festus felt sure held snow. The seasons were changing and soon they would feel the bite of fall with winter not far behind. He pulled back on Ruth's reins and stared about him, a deep sadness filling him. This part of the country had always held a special place in his heart as it was the last time he and Fergus had been together for any period of time. Wild and free as the land around them, he and Fergus had trapped and fished and hunted and rode for hours on end, never caring about what was ahead or behind them. They had no real plans, except to be together in some way: the bond between them strong.

Festus closed his eyes to the memories and wiped the tears that leaked from his soft eyes. What was done was done and there was no going back or changing it. His life was what it was. Perhaps not what he had always thought it would turn out to be, but it was his for good or bad. No amount of wishing or longing would change it.

He turned Ruth and looked behind him towards where the herd milled about, grazing contentedly, then farther south and east towards where he instinctively knew Dodge City lay. His friends were back there and the life he had left behind. One moment had changed his whole future once and now again. He felt a deep sadness overwhelm him as he thought of all the losses in his life. He had always thought things happened for a reason, but try as he could, he saw no reason for the death of his brother or Jesse, a man that was as close as a brother.

Feeling suddenly drained, he turned Ruth and began a slow walk back to the herd and the men that would be eagerly lining up for lunch. He pulled up suddenly when he noticed movement off to the right of the main herd. A group of cowboys was moving towards a small knot of men on horseback, Indians from the look of them. He felt unease in his belly and he spurred Ruth on.

A short ride and he came upon the group of gesturing and angry cowboys surrounding a small cluster of Indians. Carpenter, he noted, was nowhere in sight. Spurring Ruth on, he stopped by the loudest of the cowboys. "Jack, stop that there noise! Now what's this here all 'bout?" he asked firmly.

"These here Injuns was tryin' to steal cattle, Festus. They bin asittin'up on that there bluff for two hours now watchin' us."

Festus peered at the Indians arrayed before him. Dirty and skinny, they looked as though they hadn't had a bite to eat in days. He moved closer to them and, using hand signs, questioned them, carefully watching their hands as they answered.

Squinting, he turned back to the others. "Says they want ten head of cattle to cross this here land."

The men stared at Festus in shock. "Where'd ya learn ta talk with yer hands like that?"

Festus smiled slightly, remembering the school teacher he had helped once to get settled in her new mission school. "From a friend," he said succinctly. "Now, 'pears ta me, they's making a real reasonable request. Givin' 'em what they want in exchange for passin' through with no trouble strikes me as a good idea."

The men milled about uncertainly. "Well, I cain't jes give 'em cattle, Festus. This here's Mr. Carpenter's herd and he's gonna have ta say yea or nay on that."

"Well, then I reckon someone best go find him now," Festus said, moving closer to the Indian group to continue "talking".

A short time later, Carpenter rode up next to Festus, reining up sharply.

"Festus? What's goin' on here? Jeb says you wanna give some of my herd away?"

"Yes sir. Only a few head to keep 'em happy."

"And why would I do that? There's only three of 'em," Carpenter said, staring at the Indians sitting calmly on their ponies before him.

"I think ya better count again, Mr. Carpenter. They's three here, but a whole lot more up on that there rise behind us."

Carpenter turned to look over his shoulder and grimaced. "I see. You knew they were back there?"

"All ya gotta do is keep yer eyes peeled. Now these fellas here ain't had meat in more'n a few days. With the buffalo bein' run out and kilt by the army and other white men, they ain't got no food." Festus turned to look Carpenter in the eye. "They's starvin', Mr. Carpenter," he said softly.

For a long moment Carpenter stared at Festus, and then turned to gaze at the Indians before him who stared back unflinchingly. Nodding, he turned to his men who watched anxiously what was going on. "Pull out ten good animals and let 'em have 'em, Jeb."

Jeb moved off to do as Carpenter had said, moving surely and quickly among the herd to cut out ten good ones, and returned with them. The Indians moved closer and took possession of the animals, nodding once as they began to move off. One turned back and gestured to Festus and waved in the direction in front of them, where the herd was headed.

Festus nodded and waved as the group moved off, then turned to Carpenter. "He says they's bad water ahead. Once we get ta movin' again, we need to move the herd further east to git round it."

Carpenter waved one man forward to his side. "Jim, go check it out. Let's make sure what they say is true before we go movin' the herd."

Turning back to Festus who watched the cowboy ride off quickly, he said, "No offense, Festus. Just wanna make sure they ain't tryin' ta get us to move closer to their camp for any reason."

"I understand, Mr. Carpenter," Festus said, smiling slightly. "I best be gettin' back to the wagon and fixin' lunch," he said, beginning to move off to the rear where the wagon stood.

"Festus? Thanks for your help. Don't know what would've happened if you hadn't been here to read their sign. Imagine it mighta gotten bad if we had refused them. It was good you were here."

Festus stared at Carpenter for a moment then nodded, lowered his head and moved off.


	9. Chapter 9

Jesse's Song

Chapter 9

That night, supper done and plans made for the next day, Festus sat wearily on the back of the wagon to give himself a bit of peace before he headed to bed. He yawned and rubbed his hands over his eyes, going over the events of the day. What Carpenter had said had given him pause. If he hadn't been there, what would have happened? If Jesse hadn't died, he _wouldn't_ have been here. Would there be dead bodies out there right now? If he hadn't been with Billy, would the herd have been turned in time? If he hadn't been here, would Carpenter have been trampled by that steer? Festus closed his eyes and lowered his head, questions swirling about in his tired mind.

Carpenter had stopped by earlier and told him the scout had come back to confirm there _was_ bad water ahead. Dozens of dead animals had littered the banks of the water hole. If the herd had continued on…well there would be more dead animals to deal with and maybe dead cowboys, too if they had fought the Indians. Festus shook his head then hesitated as he heard the sounds of men laughing quietly and singing softly.

He jumped down from the wagon and walked towards the sounds coming from a campfire in the center of the camp, far from the herd.

Night had fallen and the men began moving almost as one, with the exception of the night guard, to the fire burning in the center of the camp. They settled in, staring at the flames leaping and dancing on the logs.

Feeling himself drawn to the group, Festus found a spot by an old weathered tree stump and leaned back. Someone began to strum an old battered guitar and sing sad songs of home. Then another would pick up the strain and carry it on. The music had a calming affect on animals and men alike and the group sat back to let the music envelop them, feeling their tensions and worries fade away.

Festus felt someone settle themselves beside him and wasn't surprised to see it was Billy. The youngster had filled out his frame in the past few weeks and had a calm assurance about him now. He leaned toward Festus and asked quietly, "Don't you got any old songs, Festus? A man like you got to have somethin' inside ta sing about."

"Yeah, Festus," said one man by his side. "Do you sing? Or play?" The guitar seemed to magically appear and he stared at it uncertainly for a moment. These men had finally accepted him and came to him often for advice or doctoring. Hesitantly, Festus reached out a hand and grasped the guitar by its slender neck. He pulled it in to his chest and settled it there, running a hand over the sleek, well worn wood.

"Well, I …I ain't played in a long time. Nor sang. Don't know that ya want me to do that, but I reckon I can try," he said as he began to pluck tentatively at the strings. A few faltering minutes later, Festus began to pick out a song, joining in with his voice as he sang of home and friends and those left behind. He sang of the mountains and the clear streams that flowed bright and clean from them. He sang of loss and tears and hardship in such a way that the men about him quieted down and listened in awe. That this man who made their meals and went about his daily chores with a sad smile everyday, could make such beautiful music with such a beautiful voice filled the men with wonder.

After Festus plucked the last chord, he sat for a moment, remembering: friends, family, death, and home. He glanced up when he realized the men were silent and tried not to notice the tears on some of the men's faces or the sadness in others. He hadn't meant to sing that particular song, it had just come out.

He looked up when he saw Carpenter standing there, the same sad look on his face. "That was the most beautiful song I think I ever heard, Festus. Where…where did you come up with it?"

The man holding the guitar softly in his hands smiled slightly and handed the instrument to the next cowboy. "It were Jesse's song, Mr. Carpenter. Jesse wrote it last time we was on a drive together," he said, his voice breaking just a bit. "It'd been a hard drive and we lost a few good men. And cattle. One night Jesse jes set down and that come out. He ain't never sung it fer ya?"

Carpenter hung his head and shook it. "Naw, Festus. He didn't. Reckon it was special to him."

Festus stared about him and then abruptly got up. "I'm powerful sorry then. Mebbe…mebbe I shouldn't've sung it."

"No, Festus. Ya done right," Carpenter said, laying a hand on Festus' shoulder. "Songs like that, well, they need to be sung. Makes us all remember things we need to remember. I thank ya."

Nodding once, Festus slowly walked off, heading for the chuck wagon and his bedroll. Behind him, someone else picked out another song and the men sat back to listen, music filling the still night. For a moment he stopped, staring up at the brilliant stars shining brightly in the clear, crisp sky as memories flooded him. Lowering his head, he walked on, settling himself finally by the chuck wagon, listening to the songs the men sang and thinking of home: Dodge City.


	10. Chapter 10

Jesse's Song

Chapter 10

A few days later, the herd reached the outskirts of Denver. The men were anxious for the trail to end and head back to their homes and loved ones. Festus finished the morning chores and set out on the wagon, closing in on the end of the trail. The drive was over but he was still at a loss as to what it all meant. Jesse was gone and in his heart he still felt responsible. Nothing had changed.

He stared about him at the trail and the cowboys laughing and joking good naturedly with each other and longed to do the same. He knew that this time tomorrow, the men would be in various states: some drunk, some broke again and some flush with city life. He smiled briefly as he remembered trail's end with Jesse all those many years ago and pondered what trail's end would be like this time.

A few hours after sunrise, the herd entered the town heading for the stockyards and to their fate. Festus drove the chuck wagon one last time down the streets of Denver, staring about him in amazement. It had been more than a few years since he had been to Denver and he was astonished at the changes he saw in the town.

Pulling up by the stockyards, Festus spotted Carpenter watching the herd move easily through the gate to the corrals and urged the team on to stop by the trail boss. Hopping down from the wagon, he looked about for a moment, feeling the excitement of the town begin to fill him.

"Well, trail's end. What're ya gonna do now?" Carpenter asked, walking to stand by Festus' side, watching him with a slight smile.

Festus paused for a moment, looking about him at the activity and squinted. "Don't reckon I got any idea right now, Mr. Carpenter. Reckon to explore this here town a bit afore I head off anywheres though."

"Goin' back to Dodge City and your old job?" the trail boss asked quietly, looking at the ground as he spoke.

Lowering his eyes, Festus shrugged his shoulders. "Ain't got no plans atall. Jes, mebbe ride off into them there mountains and explore a bit. Or mebbe stay here in Denver. Mebbe go north." He sighed and looked up. "I ain't got no idea what I'm gonna do I reckon."

Carpenter nodded and looked Festus in the eye. "If ya ever want to ride with me again, yer more than welcome. I'll be headin' back down south in a day or two. Always have need of a good hand and yer one of the best I've been around, Festus. I mean that. You can ride with me any time."

Smiling slightly, Festus dipped his head. "I 'preciate that, Mr. Carpenter. I purely do. And I'll think on it." He turned to gather his belongings from the back of the chuck wagon, intending to find the remuda of horses and search for Ruth, when Carpenter handed him a roll of bills.

"What's this here?" he asked with a confused look.

Carpenter laughed. "It's called pay. Ya worked with me on this drive and now ya got pay comin'."

Festus shook his head. "I…I didn't do this fer pay, Mr. Carpenter. I done it fer Jesse. And to…to…"

"To hide, Festus? I know why ya done it. Ya still done it and ya got pay comin'."

"I…I cain't take it. It belongs ta Jesse."

"Festus, Jesses's dead, but it weren't yer fault. Jes somethin' that happened. It was bound ta catch up with him eventually. Ya see, I been thinkin' on this some, too." He shook his head and looked away, his eyes moist. "Maybe I had a part in it. I don't know. I knew he was runnin' but I still let him go off into town that night and…" he broke off and looked back at Festus, who refused to meet his eyes. "Jesse didn't blame you. He wanted to protect you, and us, from what was comin' but he couldn't. And neither could you. Or me. This money is yours to do with what ya want. Give it away if ya want or spend it or take it home with ya. But it's yours. Jesse would want it that way."

Reaching out a hand, Festus accepted the roll of bills, nodded at the trail boss and stared down at the money.

"I'll see you tonight at the restaurant? We're havin' a farewell dinner before everyone goes skittering off."

"I'll be there."

"It's been a pleasure, Festus. I owe ya my life. If there's ever anythin' I can do for ya, let me know," Carpenter said, reaching out his hand to him.

Carpenter turned away and started barking orders at a few nearby hands. Festus looked down at the money in his hand and counted it, planning what to do with his share. With a little smile on his face, he headed off to start spending his money. Sniffing, he decided a bath would be a welcome beginning and walked off, a little spring in his step.

That night, the men gathered at one of the less finer eating establishments in Denver and hooted and hollered till early the next morning when they were run off by the management of the restaurant and the local sheriff. The men stumbled on their way, some going to hotels for the night and some, not wanting to spend their hard earned cash, headed out of town to sleep under the stars once again.

"Festus! Where ya goin?" Billy yelled as Festus gathered up his belongings.

"To the hotel, boy! I had me enough of sleepin' on the ground fer a bit. Where ya plannin' on goin'?"

"Well, I…uh…"

"Well? What's wrong with ya?"

"Well, I ain't never…that is…I'm right tired of sleepin' on the ground, too. I jes…"

Festus smiled and grabbed the boy by the neck. "Come on ya scamp. This way."

The two walked off unsteadily to the hotel where they decided to split the cost of a room and settled in for a little sleep.

"Festus?" Billy's hesitant voice woke Festus just as he was about to drift off.

"Yeah, boy?"

"What ya gonna do now?"

"I thought I'd sleep."

He heard Billy sigh and he smiled. "No. I mean next. After sleepin'. Tomorrow. What are ya gonna do? Go home?"

It was a long time till Festus answered. "I don't rightly know, Billy. Thought I'd do some shopping," he said thinking with a smile of the things he planned to buy for his friends back home, intending to have them shipped to Dodge. "Mebbe stick around here fer a day or two."

"What then?"

"Ain't planned that far ahead."

"Them mountains is 'bout the prettiest things I ever did see. All white on top and shining sometimes, ya know? I wonder, well, I wonder what they's like. Ya ever been there?" Billy's voice grew softer and softer and Festus knew he was drifting off to sleep.

"Yeah, I bin there." Festus stopped when he heard soft snores coming from the bed next to his and he smiled. "Night, boy," he said softly as his mind drifted to the past and tried to settle on the future. "Night."


	11. Chapter 11

Jesse's Song

Chapter 11

_Just a short chapter that doesn't seem to go with chapters on either side of it._

The next day dawned bright and clear but with a biting cold in the air: fall was making its presence felt. Festus and Billy ate breakfast quickly and strode down the sidewalks, gazing about them in amazement. The years had changed Denver and Festus remembered the town he had visited all those years ago with fondness. He'd never been quite sure Denver would survive once the mining booms were over but was pleased to see the town that once was in the middle of nowhere thriving.

"What are ya gonna do with all that there money, Festus?" Billy asked in excitement, interrupting Festus' musings.

"Well, first thing I need to do is get me a warm coat, then I thought I'd buy my friends back home some gifts and have them shipped to Dodge. After that I'll see what I got left. What about you?"

Billy shrugged uneasily. "I dunno. I wanta buy some stuff but my folks need this money."

Nodding, Festus remembered Billy telling him the reason he had come along on the trip in the first place was because his father had been hurt in an accident and their crop had been wiped out by a tornado. They sorely needed the money he had made on the trail to get the family through the coming winter and buy the seed corn they would need to plant in the spring. A smile crossed Festus' face as he began to plan what he would do with what would be left of his money.

"Come on, boy. Help me spend my money."

The two unlikely friends fairly flew down the street, looking in one store after the other till they had found everything Festus wanted: a new coat for himself, a few gifts for his friends back home and a new hat for Billy. The remainder he had plans for but didn't want to divulge them to Billy. That would come later.


	12. Chapter 12

Jesse's Song

Chapter 12

Later that night, Festus was engaged in a poker game at one of the seedier establishments in Denver and found he had not lost his expertise with cards, winning hand after hand. His run of luck had not gone unnoticed by the others in the dingy saloon and they crowded around him, watching eagerly for the next hand.

"Wall fellers, this here'll be ma last hand. I got places ta be tomorrer and I need me some sleep afore I go," Festus said, stretching. The others in the game looked unhappy at his announcement and Festus knew he needed to be careful.

The last hand came and went quickly. Festus, losing the last hand, gathered his winnings to him. The hundred dollars he had earned on the drive was more money than he had seen in a while but for what he had planned, he needed more: just what he had won tonight would be more than enough, he thought in satisfaction.

He put his money in his pocket and looked about him carefully. He knew that winning as he had done tonight was not generally looked on favorably by those that had lost, and he was mindful of unrest amongst his fellow poker players.

Smiling, he rose from the table and pushed his chair back. "Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure, but I gotta be goin'. Next time I'm in town, I'll be sure ta look y'all up and ya can try ta git yer money back," he said, sidling towards the door.

The men at the table rose also and moved toward Festus, their hands reaching for their guns.

"I wouldn't be doin that gents," said a deep voice from the doorway. "Jes drop yer hands where we can see 'em and don't be makin' no sudden moves."

Festus turned, surprise in his eyes when he saw Carpenter and two others from his outfit standing in the doorway, their hands on their guns. Smiling, he moved to them. "Wall, what brings y'all down here?" he asked.

"Heard there was a big game goin' on. Heard someone was winnin' big so we come on down to check it out. Didn't know it was you, Festus," said Carpenter with a laugh.

"Yeah. I had me a little run of good luck. They seem to be begrudgin' me ma winnin's though, don'tcha think?" Festus asked with a slight smile, turning to look at the poker players behind him.

Carpenter laughed briefly, then slapped Festus on the shoulder. "Come on, let's get outta here and find some place else to drink."

The four strode quickly from the room, keeping the disappointed gamblers in sight. Finding another saloon wasn't difficult and the men settled down to do a bit of drinking with the drinks being on Festus.

"So, Festus," Carpenter asked a few hours later, while walking down the almost deserted street to the hotel. "What are your plans? Ya got any yet?"

Shaking his head, he reached a hand up to rub his whiskery face. "Well sir, I don't rightly know fer sure. I would dearly love to go back to them thar mountains and do me some more explorin'. Ain't bin there in more'n a few years."

"But?"

"Wall, Billy wants ta be goin' along with me."

"So what's the problem? He fairly worships you, you know."

Festus nodded his head. "I know that. Ain't got no reason to that I sees. I jes…wall his folk's be awantin' him home I 'spect soon what with all their worries. Don't know it'd be right ta haul him off."

"Festus, I know about Billy and his folks. I planned to stop by there on my way home and make sure they're all right and help them out a bit. A few more days or weeks I don't expect to make much of a difference. But what about you?"

"Me? What about me?"

"Seems to me yer still runnin'."

Festus stopped and turned to Carpenter. "Runnin'? I ain't runnin' from nothin'!"

"Ain't ya? Ya run off from yer friends cause ya couldn't accept what happened to Jesse not bein' yer fault. Now, seems ya want ta keep right on runnin'. Don't ya think it's time ta stop?"

"I…I jes…" Festus stopped and turned to a nearby bench and sat down heavily, his head in his hands. "If only I hadn't been there that night, he woulda bin back at the camp. Safe. But I had ta sit there and jaw about how things used ta be. Then, wearin' that badge made me have ta do somethin' I sure wish I hadn'ta done. I shoulda took it off afore it got to that point and run with…" Festus' voice broke and he looked away, tears in his eyes.

Carpenter sat down beside the ex-deputy. "I wish I'd been able to run with him, too. Been wishin' that, but we couldn't and we didn't and what happened, happened. Can't change it or understand it I suppose. But, I always thought things happen for a reason, ya know?"

Standing, Carpenter leaned against a post and stared out at the sleeping city and shook his head. Turning back to Festus he squinted at him and asked, "What do you suppose would have happened to me if you weren't along on this drive? Ya saved me from that steer ya know. Or Billy? Ya took him under yer wing and nursed him and helped him grow up a bit. How about the men and cattle that ya saved by discovering the rustlers and talkin' to those Indians. How many woulda died if we had fought them? How many woulda died if we had continued on to that bad water?"

Carpenter walked back and sat down again, looking at Festus. "Maybe Jesse died so you could go along and do what ya done. Git us through with only a few injuries and one death."

Clenching and unclenching his fists, Festus stared at them as if they held the answer. "I…I jes don't know, Mr. Carpenter. I…sometimes I jes cain't see beyond Jesse lyin' in ma arms and…" he broke off and looked away.

"Yeah, I know. Me too. But he's gone and we ain't, so I guess we best get over it and move on." He clapped Festus on the back and stood, stretching his back. "It's been a long night and I'm bushed. I'll be headin' out tomorrow. Takin' the train back down south a ways before I head to Billy's folks. Yer still welcome to come along, Festus. Like I said, a good hand is always hard to find."

Festus stood up and stretched out his hand to Carpenter. "Obliged, Mr. Carpenter, but I think mebbe those mountains out there is a callin' me a mite too loud. "'Sides, I don't know I can sit on a mount fer hours on end no more," he said with a laugh.

Reaching a hand to his back, Carpenter grimaced. "I know what ya mean. But if ya ever change yer mind, ya know where I am."

"I know where ta find ya. And I'm obliged to ya." The two men shook hands and Carpenter walked off to sleep for the few hours remaining in the night. Festus turned and walked off slowly, his head filled with images and thoughts.


	13. Chapter 13

Jesse's Song

Chapter 13

Blue skies and blustery winds so icy they took one's breath away filled the early Denver morning. The air was filled with the pungent aroma of cattle and horses mixed with a trace of wood smoke as Festus walked down the almost empty street, Billy at his side. "Ya mean we're goin' to them mountains, Festus? Fer sure?"

The boy's excitement was contagious and Festus smiled briefly at Billy's enthusiasm. "Yep. Fer a bit." He stopped short and turned to the boy. "But only fer a bit. Understand? Ya got things at home ta be took care of ya know."

Billy flushed at Festus' words. "I know that, Festus, I jes…well I jes wanna see them there mountains. I can almost smell 'em sometimes, ya know?"

Looking up at the snowcapped mountains shining in the distance, Festus took a deep breath and smiled slightly, the scent taking him back to another time. "I know, boy, I know."

Festus had outfitted both of them with the money he had earned, and won, for time on the trail. Mostly they'd live off the land, hunting their meals and building or finding shelters for the night, but the chill in the air prompted Festus to buy extra blankets and some heavier clothing for them both. A healthy supply of coffee and a few choice foodstuffs, and the pair was ready to set out. Once they had seen the Shining Mountains, they would turn south to Oklahoma where Billy lived. After that? He had no real plans.

Their supplies packed, the two mounted up, Festus on Ruth and Billy on a sorrel Carpenter had given him. They were just turning to leave the livery area when Ben Gates from Carpenter's outfit ran up, an old guitar hanging from a thin, weathered strap around his neck. "Festus! I'm glad I caught up to ya. I wanted to show ya this," he said stretching out a piece of paper that fluttered wildly in the chilly breeze.

"What…what is it?' Festus asked, looking askance at the offered paper.

"It's the words to Jesse's song. I tried to remember them all from the night ya sung it by the campfire, but I ain't so sure I got 'em all right. I wondered if you'd see if I done all right."

Festus took the paper and stared at it for a moment. "Why do ya wanna know, Ben?" he asked quietly, still staring at the paper.

"Well, I wanna get it published. It'd be like a memorial to Jesse."

Looking down into Ben's eager face, Festus smiled uncertainly. "Well, I…I..cain't really see too well to read right now," he said patting his shirt pockets uneasily. "I seem to have…lost ma specs."

Billy smiled, knowing Festus was unable to read. "Let me see, Festus. I'll read it to you and you can tell me if'n it's all right."

Nodding gratefully, Festus listened as Billy read the words, making a change here and there which Ben wrote down quickly.

"Thanks Festus, Billy," he said with a big smile. "I think I got the music down right. Can ya listen fer a minute?"

The two nodded and Festus closed his eyes as he listened to Ben sing the words and play the music to Jesse's song. Ben had a good ear, and with a few exceptions, had remembered the music perfectly.

Festus shook his head in admiration. "Ya got a pure special gift ya know that, Ben? Ya only heerd that song oncet, but ya got it almost perfect. Sure do envy ya that."

Ben blushed and looked at Festus with admiration in his eyes. "Wall, I don't got the voice you do though, Festus. Why, you could sing just about anywhere and people'd pay to hear ya I'd bet."

"People pay ta hear me sing?" he blew a breath out his cheek and laughed. "'Spect people got other things ta do with their money than hear me sing. But I'm obliged to ya fer the thought."

Looking at Festus thoughtfully, Ben said, "Onliest problem I got is, I don't know who to send the money to."

"Money?"

"Wall, sure. I mean, if it gets published and all. Tain't right fer me ta take it since it be Jesse's. Maybe I could put you down fer any money it'd make. Where ya gonna settle, Festus?"

"I don't know, Ben. I…I ain't planned that far ahead," Festus said softly, looking at the ground as he spoke.

"Well, yer goin' back ta Dodge City ain't ya, Festus? I mean, that's where yer family is," Billy said quietly, staring hard at Festus, daring him to say no.

Festus' eyes rose to meet Billy's, sadness in their depths, then turned back to Ben. "I 'spect the best thing ta do with any money is ta give it to Jesse's family. I think I remember him atellin' me they's back in Mississippi. Don't reckon I know where though."

Ben nodded, putting the papers away in his jacket pocket as a big wind blew up. "You two sure about goin' to those mountains? Seems winter's comin' on fast."

"I 'spect it is but I done promised Billy we'd get as far as we can before it snows."

"Well, I wish ya both the best. I know the drive didn't go the way we all wanted it to but…well, it was plum nice ta meet ya, Festus. I want ya ta know, I won't never fergit ya or what ya done fer us all." He reached a hand up to grasp Festus' hand, then Billy's and turned away.

Festus stared after the disappearing trail hand and muttered, "What I done fer 'em all? What in tarnation did I do?"

"Ya still don't get it do ya, Festus?" Billy laughed.

He turned puzzled eyes to Billy and watched as the boy rode off, not waiting for Festus.

Sighing, Festus shook his head and muttered, "Reckon I don't," then spurred Ruth on to catch up to the boy who was heading down the wrong street.


	14. Chapter 14

Jesse's Song

Chapter 14

Two days later found the pair staring up at the snowcapped mountains, feeling the cold breeze blow straight from the icy peaks chilling them. The tops of the mountains were cloaked in dense, gray clouds. From his past experiences, Festus knew the conditions on the crest of the peaks right now were frigid and he turned to Billy with a slight smile.

"Well, thar's yer mountains. Had enough cold yet?"

Billy said nothing for a moment then turned to Festus with a big smile lighting his boyish face. "Can we climb up there? Imagine the view from way up top!"

Shaking his head, Festus stared up at the shrouded peaks. "It's colder'n anythin' ya can imagine up there right now, boy. Why, they's places up there the snow never melts, it's so cold! Ya wanna go climbin' up thar, ya gotta do it afore fall comes."

Glancing over at his friend, Billy quietly studied him, watching the play of emotions over his weathered face as he stared up at the peaks in silent admiration.

"How long ago was ya here, Festus?" Billy asked softly.

For a moment, Festus was surprised at the question and remained still, remembering. "More years'n I care ta be rememberin'," he said quietly after a moment's hesitation, his eyes locked on the mountains before him.

Billy noted the sad look in Festus' eyes and the moisture in them and frowned. "Festus? Y'all right? Did I say somethin' wrong?"

Mentally shaking himself, Festus squinted, looking over at the boy sitting on his horse staring at him in concern and smiled. "Naw. I jes got somethin' in ma eye's all. Ya ready ta be headin' outta here and on home?"

"Whose home? Yers or mine?" he said with a big grin.

Shaking his head, Festus turned Ruth and sidled towards Billy. "Ya jes don't give up, do ya?"

"Nope. Any reason I should?" he asked, smiling broadly.

"Come on, boy. Let's set up camp down in that river bottom. Might even have time to catch us some supper if'n ya don't dawdle."

"Festus?" Billy called quietly, edging closer. "Do you…well do you think you could call me Billy or Bill or Will or anythin' other'n boy? I reckon I ain't a boy no more."

Festus looked away, amusement lighting his eyes. "Sure 'nough, Billy. Sure 'nough."


	15. Chapter 15

Jesse's Song

Chapter 15

The next few hours were some of the coldest Billy had ever experienced as the icy winds tore down from the mountain tops and roared across the valley. When they reached the river, he watched as Festus gathered pine boughs from some nearby trees and laid them over a tree fall, making a crude lean to, then placed more pine boughs on the ground to make a soft, fresh bed. With a roaring fire at the entrance to the shelter, they would be safe and warm.

Once they were settled in the shelter for the night, Billy watched hypnotized as the fire roared and danced in the breeze, amazed that the branches and fire gave such protection from the elements. A pot of coffee sat warming beside the blaze giving off the most aromatic scent and fish the two had caught earlier in the ice-rimmed river hung sizzling on spits over the blazing fire. Leaning out, Festus took the fish carefully and handed one to Billy who took it eagerly, not waiting for the fish to cool.

"I reckon you could live out here all yer life and never have need to go to a town at all, huh, Festus?"

Putting down his meal, Festus sighed, staring out into the flickering fire. "I reckon I could. If'n I had to. But somethin' jes cries out ta be 'round people sometimes though."

"Tell me what happened, Festus when you was here last." Billy asked so quietly that Festus wasn't sure at first he had heard him.

He finished eating and threw the remainder of his fish in the fire, watching as the blaze hissed and popped. He was silent so long, Billy thought he either hadn't heard him or wasn't going to answer.

"I reckon it was 'bout ten years ago. Me and ma twin brother come out here to pan fer gold and trap."

"Ya got a twin brother?"

"I did. He died."

"I'm sorry," Billy said softly.

"We trapped all that thar winter and took the furs in the summer ta be traded. Then we planned ta come back ta the river and pan fer gold till it was time ta set the traps again. We musta walked ever inch of river bottom between here and Denver," he said shaking his head and smiling as he remembered.

"Anyway, Fergus wanted ta head home after a year of trappin', so he headed on. I stayed a while longer, then headed home myself."

By now, Festus' voice had grown so soft, Billy had to lean forward to hear. When he said no more, Billy asked quietly. "So, what happened?"

Festus dropped his head to his chest and paused as the emotions played over him. "Ma brother…he…well, he took up with someone he shouldn't've and got hisself kilt. I never really got over it. Mebbe…mebbe if'n I'd gone home with him…" Festus didn't finish what he was going to say but Billy knew what he had left unsaid and grieved for his friend.

The silence stretched into minutes and after a time Billy, his heart breaking at his friend's pain, leaned over and placed a soft hand on his friend's shoulder and squeezed. "Night, Festus. See ya in the mornin'."

Nodding to show he had heard, Festus stared unseeingly out into the black night, wishing with all he had that he possessed the power to change the past.


	16. Chapter 16

Jesse's Song

Chapter 16

Having had their fill of the icy winds and snow squalls that left them blanketed in snow every morning, the two turned their mounts and began to head south. They rode from sunup till almost sundown, giving them enough time to find or build shelter for the night. The mountainous terrain of northern Colorado gave way to the flatlands of southeastern Colorado as they moved closer to Billy's home in the Oklahoma panhandle.

The farther south they rode, the quieter Festus became as he wrestled with what to do. Going back to Dodge seemed to be the only answer, yet he had been away for so long he didn't know that he _could_ go back. He felt he had abandoned his friends and all he had known. Would they understand how he felt about Jesse and what had happened? And his badge? What about that? If Matthew asked him to put it back on, could he? Festus wrestled with questions that seemed to have no answers as the long days in the saddle gave way to long nights by the fire and long talks with Billy about his home and family: talks that produced a longing in Festus to be back with _his_ family.

Finally, they crossed over the border from Colorado into Oklahoma, every mile drawing them closer to Billy's home. Festus could almost feel the excitement in the boy. When they were a few miles from Billy's home, Festus stopped and waited for Billy to turn back.

"Festus? What's wrong? Yer comin' the rest of the way with me, ain't ya? My folks would want to meet ya."

"I'm a comin' on with ya. I jes think mebbe we should make a stop in town and buy us a few things."

"What things? I told ya I need all my money I made to get us through the winter," Billy said in puzzlement.

Festus smiled a lazy smile. "I know that boy…Billy. But well, I got me a bunch a money and no use fer it. I thought mebbe we'd go buy yer folks some seed corn and other little doodads yer family might be likin' or needin'."

"Festus, I ain't asked ya fer nothin' 'cept yer friendship. I…I cain't be takin' yer money."

"Now, did I say anythin' 'bout ya _takin_' ma money? I said I want ta buy yer folks and that little brother and sister of yourn some things. 'Spect that'd be my right, ta do what I want with ma money. 'Sides, a man like me don't need much that money can buy."

Billy's eyes filled with moisture at Festus' words. He knew he owed this man more than he could ever repay and now he wanted to give him more.

"I…I…"

"Oh, stop yer stutterin', boy. Let's git ta gittin'. I'm lookin' forward to that home cooked meal ya been a promisin' me for the last 100 miles."

The two rode into town and bought the things the two hoped would get the family through what Festus knew would be a long, cold winter, as well as a few luxuries. True to Billy's words, Festus was received by Billy's family like long lost kin and treated to the best meal he had had in ages. Billy told his family all the adventures the pair had had on the trail and all the heartache too as they paused remembering Jesse and Dan Hansen, the man that had died during the rustling incident.

Billy's little brother, Josh, and sister, Mary, hung on every word out of their big brother's mouth and looked on Festus as a new playmate as he wrestled with Josh on the back porch and made Mary a doll from old corn husks.

After their first supper back, Festus walked out to the corral with Billy's father Jeff, who still limped slightly from his accident and walked with a slowness born of injury. Staring at the horses milling about in the enclosure and breathing in the familiar scents, Festus felt a calm he hadn't known in a long time descend on him.

"I wanna thank ya fer all ya done fer Billy. I didn't want him goin' out on that trail. Tolt him it would be a mistake. Seems I was wrong. He brought back more'n he left with and I don't mean the money and supplies," he said, turning to Festus.

"Reckon I got more'n I was bargainin' fer, too." Festus said, glancing at Jeff.

"I heard that. Life's got a way of evenin' things out I reckon. Always been that way."

The silence between the two men stretched on as they soaked in the smells and sounds of the cool prairie night. "I know it ain't none of my business, but what are yer plans now?"

Festus blew out a breath and watched as thin wisps of clouds came from his lips. "Everbody wants ta know that. Even me," he said with disgust.

"Don't mean ta pressure ya, Festus. It's jes, a man's gotta have a plan. Else all he does is jes…drift." He turned to look Festus in the eye. "And I don't see ya as a drifter."

"I was once," he said softly, closing his eyes as he remembered what his life had been like before he had met Matt Dillon: day after day of dead end roads, never finding the road that led home because he didn't have one. He didn't want that kind of life any more, always running and never calling any place home for long.

Tears filled his soft eyes as he thought of the people and the home he had left behind to go out on the trail to find answers to something that had no real answer. He could search and run and think all he wanted about it, but the truth was, there was no answer. Did he wish with all his might that things had been different? Of course. But in the end, nothing changed. Jesse was still dead and that would hang heavy on him for a long time. But there had been good things that had come out of Jesse's death, too. Carpenter had tried to tell him that and so had Billy. Maybe it was time he began to believe it, too.

Lowering his head, he began to feel the weight of the past weeks slip from him. "I reckon I been runnin' too long, jes like Billy said. Cain't run from what happened no more I reckon," he said, looking up at Jeff.

Jeff clapped Festus on the shoulder and smiled broadly. "Billy said you was one of the smartest men he ever knew. Guess mebbe yer gonna start actin' like it now?"

Festus laughed easily and looked away. "I reckon. But first, we got a sight of work ta be done afore I leave. Thought me and that boy of yourn would go huntin' tomorrer and brang in some meat ta get ya through the winter. Then there's some repairs that need doin' I seen. And…"

"Festus, I ain't…well I ain't got the money to be payin' ya fer all that."

"Money! Well, who asked ya fer money?" Festus stared at Jeff as if he had sprouted a second head. "I reckon I already done bin paid fer anythin' I might be a doin' round here. 'Specially if'n ya feed me the way ya done tonight."

He puffed a breath out his cheeks, turned and headed back to the house waving his hands in the air as he went, muttering all the way back. "Money! Like I asked fer money. Didn't even ask fer the money I got from the trail. Golly bill! Now what am I gonna do with money 'cept spend it on things I sure don't need."


	17. Chapter 17

Jesse's Song

Chapter 17

Almost exactly a week later, the day gloomy with frost hanging heavy in the air and on the grass, Festus walked from the house and to Ruth tethered to a post in front. The smokehouse in the far corner of the yard belched a sweet, woodsy fragrance as the venison, antelope, and turkey Festus and Billy had brought in cured. There would be more than enough to see the family through the long winter and then some.

New fence posts stuck up from the ground where before, only kindling left over from the tornado had been, and a new door and patched roof graced the large barn standing shrouded in mist to the left.

"Festus, any time ya come back this way, yer more than welcome," said Jane, Billy's mother as he packed his saddlebags. "But to visit! Not do more work than a body needs to," she said sternly, waggling a finger at him.

"Yes'm," Festus said meekly, smiling at her shyly. He shook hands with Jeff and endured the pummeling Billy's younger brother and sister gave him in their attempt at saying good-bye to their big brother's new friend. Pausing, Festus looked at the boy-man standing before him and smiled crookedly, stretching out his weathered hand to Billy.

"Ya done growed up a lot since I met ya, boy," he said softly, using the word Billy hated and smiling as he did so. "Yer a good man and one I'm proud ta call friend. Don'tcha never fergit where ya come from."

Tears threatened to ruin the tough guy image he had created over the past weeks and Billy had to look away for a second. "I won't fergit, Festus. Not that and not everythin' ya taught me."

Festus nodded and dropped the hand he clutched, turned and mounted Ruth, looking down on the family he had been practically adopted into. "If ya ever need anythin', any of ya, I'll be in Dodge City," he said, looking at Billy with a slight smile. "Somethin' _you_ taught me."

Billy's face broke out into a big smile. "I'll be thinking of ya, Festus."

Festus dipped his head, tipped his hat and turned towards Dodge City, his friends and old life.


	18. Chapter 18

Jesse's Song

Chapter 18

Winter's promise hung heavy in the air of Dodge City as the townspeople scurried from place to place, not standing still for long in the cool air. Night found local men and strangers alike gathering at the Long Branch Saloon to drink and talk and gamble.

Marshal Matt Dillon walked through the doors of the saloon and paused, glancing about at the people within and noting any potential troublemakers among those gathered. Looking to a table off to the side, he smiled as he saw Doc and Kitty engaged in conversation, drinks sitting in front of them.

"Sure is cold out there tonight," Dillon said as he walked to the table and sat down heavily, rubbing his hands and blowing on them in an attempt to warm them

"Would a beer help to unfreeze you and your hands?" Kitty asked with a smile.

"It sure would," he said gratefully as she motioned for Sam to bring him a beer.

"Now that sounds like a ploy Festus would have used to…" Doc stopped what he was about to say and rubbed a hand over his face, glancing away quickly.

Kitty patted his arm in a soothing gesture. "He'll be back, Doc. You know he will."

"Yeah, sure he will. If he's still alive. Or cares."

"Doc, you know Festus cares. He cares too much I think sometimes. Why I don't think there's a…"

Her words were drowned out by an argument that erupted at the bar. Two men, strangers to Dodge, began pushing and shoving each other, claiming the other had moved in on a girl they both apparently liked. Fists started flying and Dillon sighed, rising from his seat.

"Well, so much for a quiet night," he muttered as he headed off in the direction of the fight.

Before long there were chairs being broken, fists flying and bodies being flung out the door as the saloon erupted into a full melee. Dillon did his best to quell the riot but struggled single-handedly against the fury of the mob. He managed to grab one man and throw him out the door, then turned towards the others, ducking punches here and there, tossing more out the door.

Finally, the bar in shambles, the first two men stood facing each other unsteadily and weaving on their feet, their friends sporting bruised faces and cut lips positioned around them.

"All right! That's enough!" Dillon yelled, keeping his hands on the two men as they struggled. "Calm down. You're both going down to the jail with me now and then you and your friends here are going to pay for all these damages."

Behind him, one of the men's friends slowly drew his pistol from his holster, aiming it at Dillon's back.

Before anyone could warn him, a low, cold voice came from the doorway.

"If'n I was you Mister, I'd be a puttin' that thar gun a yourn down and puttin' yer hands up 'fore I blow a hole in yer back big enough to see through."

Kitty turned towards the door and gasped as she saw who the voice belonged to, a smile breaking out on her face.

The man dropped his gun and put his hands up, glaring at Festus who held his gun on the man for a second before reaching down to grab the man's pistol from the floor. "Don't 'spect you'll be a needin' this."

Looking at Festus in surprise, then at the gun that had been aimed at his back, Dillon smiled broadly. "You have the best timing of any man I've ever seen, Festus."

Festus smiled crookedly, glancing quickly at Doc and Kitty before grabbing the man that had tried to back shoot Dillon. "I reckon the jail's still where it used ta be, Matthew?" he said quietly before leading his prisoner out the door.

Dillon stood staring in amazement for a moment as Festus disappeared from sight. Turning to Doc and Kitty standing off to the side, he smiled broadly, shaking his head before taking his charges out the door after his former deputy.


	19. Chapter 19

Jesse's Song

Chapter 19

The cell door clanged closed and Dillon walked into the jail office, placing the keys on the hook just outside. Looking down, he watched as Festus, seated at the table, fidgeted and looked out the window and just about anywhere but at him.

"You back to stay?" Dillon asked softly, crossing the room to the coffee pot and pouring himself and Festus a cup.

Taking the offered cup, Festus sipped at it cautiously, then set it down slowly. "Reckon Newly done tolt ya what happened?" he asked so quietly, Dillon strained to hear.

"He told us," Dillon said, seating himself on the edge of his desk and watching his friend carefully.

Festus got up from his chair and walked to the window, staring out at the streets of the town he had come to love and miss.

"He also told me what happened wasn't your fault. You did what you had to."

Sighing, Festus dropped his head to his chest. "That there's the problem, Matthew. When a man does what he's suppose to and someone ends up dead, how's zat right?" He turned to his friend and held up a hand when Dillon began to speak. "Don't, Matthew. I done figgered on it till I cain't figger on it no more."

"And?"

Dropping his gaze to the floor, he shook his head. "Don't reckon there's any answer to it. I done things and seen things the past few weeks that I wouldna if'n…if'n Jesse hadn'ta died."

"Yeah, we know of some of those things Festus."

Festus looked up in surprise. "How?"

"Carpenter. He stopped by here on his way back to Texas to let us know you were alive. Something it would have been nice for you to have done," he said with a smile. "Kitty was more than a little worried about you, you know. So was Doc. And me," he added quietly.

"Wall, shoot Matthew, I done thought them thar presents I sent ya from Denver and that there note I had Billy write ya woulda tolt y'all I was all right!" Festus said, waving his hands in the air as he spoke. "It ain't like I coulda writ ya anything on the trail! Why…"

"Wait, wait," Dillon said holding his hands up. "What presents?"

"Wall, the presents I bought y'all with ma earnin's. I mailed 'em out day afore I left Denver fer the mountains. Tweren't much but…ya ain't got 'em yet?"

Dillon shook his head and laughed. "I reckon you just beat them here."

"Don't see how that could be but I reckon the mail jes gets worse and worse ever year."

"I guess it does," he said laughing. "Look, we don't need presents, Festus. We just want to know that you're all right and back to stay."

The silence in the jailhouse was long and Dillon watched the emotions play over Festus' weathered face as he struggled for control. "I…I reckon I'm back ta stay, Matthew," he said so softly Dillon had to lean closer to hear. "If'n I still gots a job that is. I'm too old to be runnin' cattle and that there's the only other job offer I had lately." He turned to face his boss and friend, a small smile on his lips.

Dillon walked to his desk and opened the drawer, taking from it a shiny bit of metal and handed it to Festus. "That answer your question?"

Festus reached out a shaking hand and took the deputy's badge from Dillon. After a moment's hesitation, he pinned it back on his vest, pausing to rub it once. Looking up, he smiled slightly and said, "Reckon it does, Matthew. Reckon it does."

Slapping Festus on the back, Dillon grabbed him by the neck and pulled him towards the door. "Let's head back to the Long Branch. I think there are some people there that might be wanting to welcome you home."

Nodding, the two headed for the door, stopping quickly when it opened and Doc and Kitty stepped in, anxiety on their faces. "I tried to stop her, Matt but you know how she is when she wants something," Doc said, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Now Doc, you know I couldn't wait any longer. I had to know if…" Kitty broke off what she was about to say when she saw the shiny badge pinned back on Festus' chest where it belonged.

Her eyes bright, she stepped closer to Festus. Waiting till his eyes met hers, she asked, tears in her eyes and voice, "You're back?. For good?"

Festus lowered his eyes but nodded his head briefly. "Reckon I am, Miss Kitty."

Sighing, Kitty threw her arms around the deputy and hugged him to her tightly. "It's about time," she whispered as he wrapped his arms around her. 

Doc nodded his assent and looked away as tears filled his eyes. "You're right about that, Kitty. It _is_ about time. Runnin' off, worryin' the people that care about him and not concerned whether we worry ourselves to death or not. I don't know why you gave him that badge back in the first place, Matt. Do you really think that's such a good idea? Not lettin' his friends know whether he's alive or dead. Of all the irresponsible things," Doc said as he turned away from the reunion in front of him.

Kitty dropped her arms from around Festus when she felt him tense. "Why you old scutter you! I ain't bin back fer more'n a few minutes and already yer a hoorawin' me! What did ya do whilst I was gone? Blabber to ole Burke? Blamed old quackety quack!"

Doc did his best to keep from laughing as he listened to Festus go on, then turned to him and asked, "How about I buy you a beer and you can tell us all about the trail and those mountains you just had to see instead of coming right back here?"

Festus stared at Doc as if he had lost his mind, all his anger gone in an instant. He shook his head and grabbed Doc's shoulder, shaking him briefly.

"Why don't we all go to the Long Branch and hear Festus' tales. I bet he's got enough to keep us entertained for hours," Kitty said, hooking her arms in the crooks of Doc's and Festus' arms, drawing them away. Looking back at Matt, who followed shaking his head, she smiled broadly.


	20. Chapter 20

Jesse's Song

Chapter 20-The Final Chapter

Winter had settled its full fury on the plains soon after Festus' return. Snow blanketed the streets and slowed travel through the town to a trickle as the Plains waited for spring's inevitable thaw. In Dodge City, life went on at a slower pace as it waited for the first herds to come, bringing life back to the cow town.

Festus was home where he belonged and had seemingly slipped back into his old routines easily. But there were times since his return that Matt or Doc or Kitty saw a distant look in his eyes when he thought no one was looking, and they knew his thoughts turned to places and people and events far from Dodge.

He'd been back in town for a few months when Nathan Burke came into the Long Branch one day where Doc, Kitty, Festus, Newly and Matt sat soaking up the heat and beer, laughing easily amongst themselves, and handed Festus a large envelope.

"This just came in on the noon stage, Festus. It's for you from someone in Denver City."

Festus took the offered envelope and nodded to Burke who smiled and walked out. "What do ya reckon it is?" he asked, looking at it as if it might bite.

"Well, open it and find out for Pete's sake," Doc said, leaning forward eagerly.

Frowning, Festus opened the envelope carefully, staring in perplexity when he pulled a sheaf of papers from it with strange writing on it. "Well, what the devil is it?" he asked, squinting at the paper.

"It's music, Festus," Newly said laughing as he reached out a hand to the sheet Festus held. "It's sheet music for a song called…" He paused and looked up at Festus in surprise for a moment, then continued, "It's called "Jesse's Song," he finished softly, looking back down at the sheet in his hand. "Words and music by Jesse Dillard. Transcribed by…Festus Haggen."

The others turned questioning eyes to Festus who sat staring at the music, his eyes moist.

"Festus? Should I read the letter that came with it?" Newly asked quietly.

Shaking himself out of his musings, he nodded to Newly to read it out loud.

_Festus,_

_I wrote down the words to "Jesse's Song" you gave me in Denver and mailed them to a friend in New York City who took it to a publishing house. They were so impressed by the lyrics and music that they are publishing it and it will soon be on the market._

_I have tracked downed Jesse's family with Mr. Carpenter's help and all profits will go to them as you wanted them to._

_I thank you for the song and for all your help._

_Ben Gates_

The others stared at Festus for a moment as he sat silent and still, his thoughts far from Dodge City.

Kitty leaned toward Festus and laid a soft hand on his and squeezed. "Festus?"

Rousing himself from his musings, he looked up at the concerned, questioning faces around him and smiled faintly. "Jesse…" His voice broke as he said the name and he had to clear his throat to try again. "Jesse wrote this here song oncet when we was on the trail together years ago. I jist sung it oncet fer the men on the drive and Ben asked me 'bout writin' it down before we left Denver. Well, Billy helped with that. Didn't know anythin' would come of it though. It's jist a song," he said waving at the air.

"It's a good song, Festus," Newly said, looking at the lyrics.

"Why don't you sing it for us?" asked Kitty, knowing what a beautiful voice he had.

Festus shook his head but the others insisted, so he proceeded to sing the song of his friend, tears gathering in his eyes and in those of the ones who listened. All sound ceased in the saloon except for the clear, sweet voice of the man who sang quietly.

When he stopped, the others in the saloon looked away, lost in their own thoughts of home and loved ones or stared unseeingly at their drinks.

"That was beautiful, Festus," Kitty said quietly with tears in her eyes. She looked at him in admiration as the others at the table quietly nodded their assent.

Festus dropped his eyes from hers and shrugged. "Shoot, Miss Kitty. It's jist a song."

"Just a song that would have never been sung except around a campfire by a bunch of cowboys, Festus. But now, others will get to hear it and Jesse's family will make some money from it. I guess they could use money just like everyone," she said laying a hand on his arm and squeezing.

"Something else that never would have happened if Jesse hadn't died, Festus," Dillon said softly.

For a long time Festus sat staring at the music and words in front of him. Running a soft hand down the pages, he wished for one of the few times in his life that he knew how to read.

Jesse's death still hung heavy on him, but the guilt and pain lessened every day. The experience had torn a hole in him, but new friends, and old ones, had helped to patch it.

Looking up, Festus saw the faces of his friends staring back at him in sympathy and concern. Smiling, he announced something none of them thought they would ever hear come from his lips. "Sam! A round of drinks fer the house. On me."

Cheers from the others in the saloon met his words while his friends looked at him with astonishment, then laughter as he stared back at them, daring them to say a word. Festus was truly back where he belonged.

The End

**I hope you enjoyed Festus' adventure. Thanks for reading and for your reviews. They were greatly appreciated. There are no actual words to "Jesse's Song". Only what you hear in your own mind and heart. Nothing I could come up with would be powerful enough, so I leave it to your own imaginings.**


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